Bizarre Love Triangle
by andyjay18
Summary: Someone has eyes for the "younger" twin...and Konata shows her true feelings.
1. Chapter 1

Lucky Star was created by some Japanese dude named Kagami Yoshimizu and is copyrighted by…some big Japanese companies

_Lucky Star_ was created by some Japanese dude named Kagami Yoshimizu and is copyrighted by…some big Japanese companies. That's about all you need to know here, especially those of you studying law or with legal degrees already.

Anyway, yeah, it's been a while, if you've seen my profile. No offense, but I had given up on fanfiction for a while, especially after reading some absolutely _hideous_ stories (which were given an MST3K treatment!). Also, I haven't entirely gotten the courage to write much fiction at all since my senior year of college (about four years ago now, whoa), when I had a teacher who absolutely slammed me. It just seemed like nothing I turned out could please him, and as a result, little of my works could please myself. Plus I work about a 10-hour day, so I end up wasting most of my evenings on YouTube. Which brings me to the origin of this little piece of horror…

It was partially inspired by a video called, "The Theory on the Future of the Girls of Lucky Star" by UltimateUKFFFan. The guy says he doesn't want his videos to be taken too seriously, and for the most part, I don't. The story was just so _juicy_ though, that I just had to try and render it into story form. If you've already seen this video (which I would highly recommend), just please don't say how it ends in the edits.

Anyways, I'd like to conclude that I write mainly to amuse myself and torture others. I don't care if you hate this story; I just care that you take the time to peruse it and tell me what you think. I must admit that I haven't actually seen much of _Lucky Star_ outside of YouTube and , but what I have seen I do like. Especially Tsukasa and the beautiful Kaori Fukuhara, as you'll suspect here. What can I say; I'm a sucker for the cute ones.

Anyway, I've wasted enough of your time. Enjoy…or not.


	2. Chapter 2

"Konban-lucky

"Konban-lucky!" announced the pink-haired middle-schooler to the cheering crowd before her. "And welcome to Akira Kogami's 15th birthday party! We're gonna have a blast here tonight, aren't we? There's cake, punch, candy, and all kinds of other goodies, and later some live music and karaoke!" The crowd's cheering calmed slightly after that last mention. "Oh, and don't forget to pick up a copy of my latest CD, for just three quarters of the retail price! And another reminder, it's now out on iTunes!"

"I knew there was a catch," the cynical Konata Izumi said.

"Well, why else would she invite everyone ages 12-18 in Kasukabe?" replied Kagami, incredulous at large crowd gathered in the adolescent prodigy's backyard. "She'd never miss an opportunity with this many people, although most of them probably came because her parents got filthy rich off her earnings. And you know what they say about rich people's parties." Indeed, it did seem like everyone under college age was gathered there that night…and probably more than a few people over the age limit.

"Tsukasa would probably love this strawberry shortcake," Miyuki said. "But where is she? She said she was coming, right?"

Kagami smirked and pointed to the other end of the refreshment table. Her twin sister was there standing next to a guy a few centimeters taller than her, with scruffy hair and a boyish, slightly goofy face. Tsukasa was giggling at something and grinning her sunny smile. And slipping a hors d'oeuvre into his mouth.

Konata's and Miyuki's mouths popped open and their eyes bulged. Then Konata narrowed her eyes and smiled as well, her face taking on an even more catlike appearance than usual. "Oh ho, so I guess there's no more twincest gong on anymore, eh Kagamin?"

"WHAT?!"

"Nothing," Konata replied innocently. "But anyway, who is he? How long have they…been going together?"

"I think she said it was Kentaro. It was about a week ago…"

Tsukasa had caught the 24-hour flu and had to miss a day of school. Kagami brought her homework of course, but since her grades were never exactly stellar, the next day she had to stay after school for study hall. And so, that afternoon she found herself heading home alone.

She shivered against the fall breeze. Most of the other students had already gone home, leaving mainly the middle-aged office workers heading towards the train station. It was almost four now, and with Daylight Savings Time coming to an end in just a couple weeks, the sun was low in the sky now and the shadows long. The creak of a mostly bare tree branch above her increased her heart rate by a few beats. Last summer Patty had remarked how interesting it was to her, as an American, that summertime was the time for scary stories in Japan, while back home it was this time of year, October. The encyclopedic Miyuki was glad to inform Patty that this was because scary stories could make one feel chilly, and thus were an entertaining way to survive the muggy Japanese summer. But on this afternoon, with the lower sun angle casting long, distorted shadows over the street and buildings, the hissing rustle of the dry dead leaves, and the eerie moan of the cool wind, Tsukasa could see why October was the month for spooks in the West.

Throughout her life, her mind had been dominated by fear, coupled with a lack of self-confidence. She'd had to use a nightlight until a rather late age, and even today she dreaded having to turn the hallway light off at night, let alone make her way to the bathroom in the middle of the night. And of course she couldn't watch many horror movies, even with her friends. Not that her friends and sister helped, often bringing such wonderful titles to their summer sleepovers as _Boogiepop Phantom_, _Ghost Hunt_, and on occasions when Konata lost the rock-paper-scissors match, _The Texas Chainsaw Massacre_ or _The Ring_.

But it wasn't just the imaginary and cinematic ghosties and ghoulies and long-leggety beasties that haunted her mind. The real world could be a very scary place itself. Her young life had been punctuated by news of terrorism, war, nuclear threats, and cataclysmic earthquakes, tsunamis, and hurricanes. Many of these things were fortunately far away, but of course Japan was not immune. Especially unnerving to her was an event last summer in which a deranged young man had gone on a rampage with a knife in the Akihabara section of Tokyo. Akihabara being the city's main center for anime, manga, and electronics stores as well as cosplay cafes, the four girls frequently visited there, and Konata would even more often go alone. Afterwards they were obviously a bit hesitant to venture into the big city…except for Konata. When Tsukasa asked how her friend could just shrug off an event like that so easily, she merely smiled and replied, "Hey, you're only alive once. You can't always worry that something bad's gonna happen to you." But seeing those shrouded bodies on Tokyo's colorful streets on the TV screen, it was just so hard to remember those words.

Almost as bad were…those guys. None of them personally knew any girls who had even been groped, let alone raped, but again, every time such stories appeared in the paper or on the evening news, they had a way of gripping your mind. Guys did occasionally make passes at her and her friends, and her appearance in her fall uniform didn't help with that. Since they all took the train to school, the idea of all-female train cars on the Tokyo and Osaka subways seemed a disturbing development. Were Japanese men really that dangerous?

All those thoughts just made her ever gladder that she lived in a relatively safe, prosperous suburb with her wonderful family and her dear twin sister. Tsukasa occasionally thought of her and Kagami as two halves of a whole, with Kagami as the forceful protector to her meek moe prototype. She often wondered when else she would feel the calmness and security she did by her sister's side.

She was jerked out of her thoughts on the eerie atmosphere when she noticed she was entering the underpass beneath the railroad tracks. The station entrance was just to the right from the other side, but at this late hour, no light entered it except for the proverbial light at the end of the tunnel. Tsukasa stood there quaking for almost a minute, wishing that she could've remembered to recharge her cell phone so she could've called her mom. But she eventually realized that if she didn't make her way down that passage of doom, she would eventually be standing there after dark, at the mercy of the creeps.

With a gulp, Tsukasa started through the underpass.

It sounded like the sky was splitting open as an express train roared overhead without stopping at Kasukabe West Station. An electric shock raced down her spine and without thinking about it, she let out a scream. However, right then a pair of thick hands clasped over her mouth, stifling it.

"Well, well, looky what we have here," sneered a voice redolent of sweat and too much body spray. The hands continued pressing her against what felt like a beef carcass wrapped in an undershirt.

"Hmm, a bit more like Skuld than Mikuru, if you know what I mean, but she'll do for now," replied the second pervert, snatching her schoolbag with one hand and seizing her left arm with his other. Even though the guy was standing right in front of her, she couldn't make out any of his features.

But suddenly the initial shell-shock faded and her survival instincts kicked in. Having received a few pointers from Kagami, Tsukasa fiercely launched her left leg out towards the guy's crotch. Big mistake! In almost the same motion, the guy tossed her schoolbag behind him and firmly grabbed her ankle. Meanwhile the jerk behind her slipped his right leg around hers, leaving her pinned.

Tsukasa tried to pummel him with her right arm, but it didn't seem to be having any effect. But time seemed to stop when she heard a metallic click in front of her, and the waning light shone off the blade just centimeters from her face. "Now look," the seeming leader of this wolf pack told her. "We don't wanna get too rough here. This won't take long. And you'll thank us afterwards." She again tried to scream but the hands pressed even harder against her face. This just couldn't be real!

But just then the guy's silhouette was jerked away into the shadows, and she heard a sharp punch. "Hey, what the…?! Aaauuughhh!!" He seemed to double over. A mysterious figure then came right in front of Tsukasa, still caught in the other thug's iron grasp. Her savior then peeled the guy's meaty fingers away like shrimp. She could hear his knuckles crack.

"Yaaarrrghhh!!" Tsukasa's captor bellowed, releasing her. His right leg went limp, and immediately she dashed away as fast as her legs would carry her.

"HELLLLLPPP!! PERVERTS!!" she cried at the top of her lungs, tears coursing from her eyes. Upon reaching the safety of the station entrance, her lungs gave out, aching like bruises. Unable to do anything more, she collapsed on her knees and began crying loudly.

"Hey, you left your bag," a nasal male voice said, coming from just above her head. More as a reflex than anything else, the sobbing girl slapped him from cheek to cheek as hard as she could. Realizing what she had done, Tsukasa wiped her eyes dry and looked up to see a boy clad in an unfamiliar school uniform, surrounded by a crowd of stunned commuters and a ticket agent. He had a round, goofy-looking face with wide eyes and intense eyebrows, crowned with a scruffy mop of dark brown hair. His nose was bleeding slightly and his mouth still grimaced from her slap. He then laid the bag beside her.

"I-I'm so sorry," she murmured. "I can't thank you enough."

"That's okay. Who wouldn't be a bit scared of guys after an experience like that?" His question was answered quickly. Tsukasa leapt up and wrapped her arms around him tightly.

"P-please," she sobbed, "Don't leave me alone. Wh-why does the world have to be so _cruel_ sometimes?"

While waiting for a police car to take Tsukasa home, he took her into a nearby tea shop to get something to calm her nerves.

"The name's Kentaro Moribashi. I'm a junior at Kasukabe Academy."

"W-wow. How could your parents afford the tuition?" Tsukasa replied, sipping on a chamomile tea with honey.

"My dad owns a chain of used car dealerships. You know those annoying commercials with the guy with the monkey?"

"Is that your dad?" she giggled.

"Oh thank God, no. But…he owns those dealerships."

"That's neat! Umm…I forgot to tell you my name. I'm Tsukasa Hiiragi. My dad runs the Washinomiya Shrine and my big sisters are mikos there. That's kinda impressive, I guess, but we're not exactly rich."

"Well, it's certainly nothing to be ashamed of. And I know it's a cliché, but neither is not being rich. What matters is what's in your heart; compassion, generosity, manners, courage, heroism…" Tsukasa suddenly realized he was staring right into her eyes as he said those words.

"Uhh…I'm…not exactly courageous. And how am I a hero?" Why did she ask that? He hadn't given any indication that he was talking about her.

"Well, you could've called your parents to come pick you up, but you decided to prove yourself and take the train back alone, even though this is the time when hoods can start creeping out of the woodwork."

"Actually I just forgot to recharge my cell phone last night. But…I guess I could've asked my history teacher to give me a ride. My friends and I are all pretty close with her."

"See what I mean?" Kentaro replied, beaming at her and placing a hand on her shoulder from across the table. Tsukasa didn't notice it at first, but didn't mind. "As for heroism, well, when I first saw what was going on, you were putting up quite a fight there."

"Thanks. My other sister—we're actually twins—taught me some moves for…that kind of situation. I never thought _I'd_ have to use them. She's my twin sister, but…" She glanced to the side. "She's a lot prettier than me."

"Hey," he answered, grabbing Tsukasa's shoulders and turning her to face him. "Really, don't sell yourself short like that. You're…you're…extremely cute."

Tsukasa suddenly felt almost like she had 24 hours previously, while she was wiped out on medicine, nauseous, and running a fever. But this time it was in a good way. Suddenly she was reminded that yes, there were good men out there, in Kasukabe, in Japan, in the world. Again without fully realizing what she was doing, she jumped out of her seat, wrapped her arms around him tightly, and kissed him firmly on the lips.

Kentaro stood up and hugged her back as she laid her head on his shoulder.

I just feel so safe here, Tsukasa thought. I never want to leave this safety.

"Okay, you two, let's break it up now, let's break it up," interrupted the voice of Konata's police officer cousin Yui. Tsukasa blushed fiercely as they both disengaged. "Heh, sorry Tsuka-chan, but after…what happened this afternoon, this is a bit unexpected."

"Yeah, same here," the purple-haired girl replied. "Umm, can I borrow a pen, Yui-san?"

"Sure. Here's a _couple_ pages from my notebook, too." Yui winked as she tore them off.

After exchanging phone numbers, Tsukasa started to follow Yui out of the tea shop. Just then she turned back towards him. "W-would you like to come to my house Friday night? For dinner? I like cooking."

"Sounds great. I'll keep in touch and we can help iron things out." He flashed another smile at her, then added, "Oh, and don't worry about those jerks. They're just some prep-school mama's boys who can't get a date, so they just try to ambush whoever they think looks easiest. One's in the Dungeons and Dragons Club, the other's in the anime club; that's about all you need to know about how tough they are. And that switchblade was plastic."

"Thanks. Well, goodnight." The other shop patrons were all staring, smiling, and chatting amongst themselves about the drama playing out before them, but Tsukasa didn't care.

Before the door could close all the way behind Tsukasa and Yui, the cop gleefully slapped the schoolgirl on the back. "Awright! Atta grrrl!"

A confident smile on his face, Kentaro Moribashi then passed by the smiling and whispering customers and entered the men's room. Inside, he headed for the last toilet stall in the row.

"Hey guys, sorry about that little dust-up back there, but, well, you know I keep my word. …Ohh yeah, she's the one with the twin in ponytails. Yeah, twins… All riiiiight, eh? ….Well don't worry, I got her almost eating out of my hand now. Oh shit, someone's coming!"

Kentaro covered up his cell phone's mouthpiece and remained still as possible as someone entered the bathroom. As soon as the door settled shut again, he picked up the phone once more. "Well, like I was saying, it won't be too long. Later!"

After hanging up, he pulled out a small tape recorder and pressed "Record". "Note to self: get those idiots to get texting capability for their cell phones so I don't run the risk of blurting out something incriminating in front of someone else." He then pressed "Stop" and left the toilet stall. Then something else occurred to him and he reentered, then pressed the "Record" button again. "Second note to self: remember to record notes to self on cell phone voice mail. Who the hell still uses cassettes anymore?"


	3. Chapter 3

"Oh ho

"Oh ho!" Konata exclaimed, as Kentaro and Tsukasa came up to the three girls at the other end of the table. "So you're our little princess' knight in shining armor!"

"Yes!" answered the slightly blushing Tsukasa. "Kentaro-kun, you've already met my sister; these are my other friends Konata and Miyuki."

"Umm, hello," replied Miyuki, pushing up her drooping glasses. "Would you like some cherry pie?"

"Okay," answered Kentaro. "Although I don't think it could compare with Tsukasa's. I don't know how she does it."

"So," Konata said, "how many hit points did those punks have?"

"Huh?"

"And was the battle RPG style or a standard fight? Ooh! And what kind of items did you get from them?"

Kagami rubbed her face in her palm. "Don't listen to her. She plays way too many video games."

"And you'd better watch out for her, boy. She can breathe fire!" answered Konata.

"All right, knock it off, you otaku twit!"

Hmm, thought Kentaro. The tsundere type, eh? So I guess she'll be a bit tougher to… charm than this one here. But we'll have her, of course. The both of them, maybe on the same night.

"What the FUCK do you mean the dance remix release was _DELAYED_?" shrieked Akira into her cell phone. "Yes, I _know_ the studio's in Los Angeles and Paul Oakenfold is based in London, but I _told_ you that only that studio can handle my remixes correctly! ...Too many overdubs?! …Look, do you know how _saturated_ the Japanese pop idol market is right now? It is dog eat dog out there! Survival of the fucking fittest! If you fall even a little behind, you are _toast_! And let me tell you something, dipshit, if I fall, I'm taking you down with me! We'll see how you can afford your yearly jaunts to Tahiti and Bali as freaking Morning Musume's caterer!" She paused to take a breath, then checked the time on her phone. "I have been in this game _too_ damn long to lose now! Now, it's about…11 A.M. in London right now, and in a few hours it should be morning in Los Angeles. So in a few hours, you get your ass on the phone with those jerks over there. In fact, start a conference call!. ...You're asking if _I_ could participate? Hell no! This is my birthday party and I've got fans to entertain! …You know what? I think you should consider this a tad more important than jury duty." She hung up with a huff. "God, I need a drink."

Akira pulled a large bottle of vodka out of hammerspace and poured some into a cup of punch. She swished it around in her mouth. "Hmm, they were right. It does taste like a Mojito." Just then her phone rang. "Yeah? … Oh you have _got_ to be fucking _kidding_ me! The hell do you mean those idiots doubled the speed on the karaoke version? Do they think I'm a novelty act or something? Get them on the line this _second_! …You know what; I don't give a damn what time it is in Los Angeles!" As she stormed away from the table, her elbow brushed against the bottle of vodka, and the clear, potent liquid began pouring into the punchbowl.

A few minutes later, not noticing the bottle, Konata began spooning herself a cup of punch.

"Ah, I'm so happy for Tsukasa!" Miyuki said to Kagami after the happy couple had left to go check out the ice sculptures on display. "She's the first of our group to have a boyfriend, I believe. What do you think of him?" But before Kagami could answer, Miyuki's glasses flashed suddenly. "Between you and me, I'd have thought that if anyone, Konata would find a boy first, considering her more outgoing nature."

"Yeaaahhh," answered Kagami, rolling her eyes. "But anyway, well, it's hard not to like Tsukasa. Aside from her resemblance to Kamegishi from _To Heart_, she's sweet, sensitive, patient, and great in the kitchen; the whole moe package, really. But…"

"But what?"

"Well, sometimes I wonder if she might be a bit _too_ moe for her own good. I've told you she's always been really clingy and a bit fearful of the outside world. I kinda think she wants nothing more than to feel safe and protected."

"What's wrong with that?"

"Well, you know how people don't always mean what they say. It can be easy to fake compassion."

"Kagami-chan, you aren't suggesting…?"

"Mmm, not entirely. But this Kentaro guy… There's just something about him; maybe it's the tone of his voice, or his eyes. But somehow when I hear him talk, his words don't sound entirely genuine, like he's just a daytime TV actor, or a used car salesman, or something."

"Hey, Kagamiiiiinnnn," announced a certain nasal voice. Kagami suddenly noticed that Konata seemed to be wobbling somewhat as she walked towards them.

"Oh, hey, Konata. A-are you feeling okay?" Kagami replied nervously.

"I'm…feeling…GREAT!" she exclaimed. "'Cause my favorite tsundere is here with me t'night. An' you're always there for me…helping me with my homework…keepin' me comp'ny when everyone else thinks I'm a crazy otaku geek…that's why I…thas' why I…_love you_." She then reached up to grab Kagami around the neck, and collapsed to the ground.

"Hey, what the…" gasped the pigtailed girl as Konata dragged her down.

"How beautiful!" Tsukasa remarked as she and Kentaro stared at a sculpture of Akira singing a duet with Aya Hirano.

"Well, they try to find the purest ice for sculptures; durable enough for carving, yet free of air bubbles and frozen debris."

"Wow, you know a lot about ice sculpting."

"Actually it's all in this pamphlet on ice sculptures they have at the table. But yes, it is a fascinating process."

Tsukasa sighed, watching the strange look of the party lanterns and the other people around the tables viewed through the ice. "Akira-san is so lucky. I wish I were as talented and well-respected as her."

Oh, I'm sure you are…in the bedroom, Kentaro thought lasciviously, straining to conceal a grin at that thought. But just then his mind spoke again.

Whoa, should you be thinking such things? Just look at that girl. You're a hero to her; how could you go and betray her?

Oh c'mon, you wimp. Remember your promise to the guys. Yeah, she's a bit…undeveloped in some areas, but still perky. Plus she'll probably fill out before long.

Hey, did you maybe think that kind of attitude toward women is why you've never actually had sex?

Shut up, you little… I turn 17 in just a couple months! But then he noticed the girl partially kneeling, gazing at the stage where the party caterers were setting up equipment for a karaoke contest. She had the same melancholy look on her face when she had told him her sister was prettier than her.

"Say, Tsukasa-san," asked Kentaro. "W-would you be interested in going up onstage? You have a lovely voice."

Tsukasa's eyes widened and her mouth dropped into an O. "Kentaro-kun…You're not just saying that because you…umm…like me…?"

"Tsukasa-chan," he replied, staring directly into her eyes again. "Believe me, I think if you go up onstage, the crowd will never get enough of you." She barely even noticed it when he called her "chan". Instead, her eyes quickly darted to the frontier of the stage, then back to this boy who always seemed to know how to make her feel happy…and safe.

"Oh Kentaro-kun," she breathed, hugging him. "I'll do it. For you."

"Konata, knock that off!" Kagami protested as Konata lay atop her, madly trying to kiss her. "W-we're in public, for one thing!"

"I don' care!" the short, blue-haired girl replied. "I wan' the world t'know 'bout us! Hell, maybe I kin get Hiyori-san to…draw us together like she always does Yutaka an' Minami…"

"Dammit Konata, I don't know if you think that about me, but…" Her nose then caught a sharp scent on Konata's breath. "I don't know how it happened, but that smells like alcohol. You're drunk!"

"Oh come on, Kagamin. You can't deny it."

"Konata-chan, I don't think Kagami likes that," said Miyuki, as a bunch of people gathered around the two grappling girls.

"Konata, I mean it!" shouted Kagami, trying to push Konata off her. But the small girl was deceptively strong.

"Kagamiiiiiin, you leave me no choiiiiice," drawled Konata as she pulled at Kagami's blouse collar.

"Konata, don't you…Do you know how much this blouse cost…Ahhhh!!" Feeling the cool night air directly against her chest all of a sudden, Kagami couldn't take it anymore.

SLAP!!

"Ohmigod guys, you gotta see this!" some guy shouted after Kagami's action. Meanwhile Konata just sat there, still atop Kagami, but with a red mark on her right cheek and a stunned expression.

"K-kagami-chan," Miyuki said, her hands raised up in shock.

"Hey agaaaaaain," a visibly inebriated Akira announced into the microphone. "The annual Akira Kogami Birthday Celebration Karaoke Festival is about to start! Are you ready for some _fun_?"

"YEEEEAAAAAHHHHH!!" replied an equally soused crowd. The inadvertently spiked punch was certainly starting to have an effect.

"Well tonight, our first victim—I mean, guest--of honor is the one! The only! Rep-re-sentin' Washimiya, Sai to da Tama Prefecturizzle, it's our own Kamegishi lookalike…Tsukasa Hiiragi!"

Tsukasa's stomach was filled with butterflies as she nervously tottered onto the stage. She could feel the heat from the stage lights burning through her hair into her scalp, as well as individual drops of sweat running down the sides of her head. And she swore she could also feel the several pairs of eyes burning onto her. Why had she agreed to do this? She hated appearing in public; the first time she had to give a public speech in class, back in her freshman year of high school, she literally ran outside and threw up afterwards. "Umm," she stammered into the microphone, staring out onto the sea of faces in front of her. "G-good evening, everyone. I'm, umm, I'm…" Her head wobbled back and forth on her neck like a balloon on a string. The sour taste of bile started to creep into her mouth. But just then she glanced to her left. Kentaro stood at the stage entrance, smiling his goofy smile and seeming to blink with his pupils. If anyone believed in her at that moment; that her voice _was _beautiful, that the crowd _would _love her it was him, her knight in shining navy blue armor.

"I-I'm Tsukasa Hiiragi. Washimiya represent, yo!" she announced, saying the last sentence in English. "And I'm going to be the first up here tonight. This song is an oldie but a goodie. I hope you like it."

"Awright!! Hit it, Shiraishi!" shouted Akira. Her world-weary assistant, Minoru Shiraishi, hit the play button for the song Tsukasa had requested.

Tsukasa now couldn't help but smile and sway back and forth as the music began.

_Ashita no tokobetsu special day_

_Ichinen ichido no chance_

She then glanced and winked at her boy, still watching from the sidelines.

_Oh baby, I love you_

_Oh baby, love me do_

At the end of the song, the crowd stood up and cheered. "Encore!" some shouted. "_Sugoi yooooo_!!"

The world seemed to turn blurry as Tsukasa's eyes filled with tears. All throughout her life, she had never felt adequate at anything except housework. Until tonight. Kentaro was right; the crowd loved her. She glanced back toward the stage entrance and saw him standing there, applauding with the audience, but with a confident, knowing smile on his face.

Again the world seemed to slow down as Tsukasa walked toward him, and again planted her lips on his. "Oh Kentaro-kun, I love you!!" she gasped, embracing him with a vengeance.

Whoa, where did that come from, he thought as the girl smooched him. But then he felt some warm liquid drip onto his cheek. She may have been planted onto his face, but Kentaro could still notice the rivers of tears running down her cheeks. Her breath also hitched as she kissed him.

You see now? She's so happy, she's crying. And now she's resting her head against your chest. Do you really want to taint this? Do you want to admit that there's more to love than, well, fucking?"

Oh come on! Isn't that the whole reason "love" exists? Just a product of evolution to make sure we pass on our genes? C'mon man, she'll probably do anything you ask tonight! You've trained her like the little puppy she is.

Kentaro couldn't believe such things could exist in his brain. Don't you _dare_ speak that way about Tsukasa-chan! Could _you_ reach out to the crowd…and to me…like that? Can a mere biological reaction explain how she…comforts me? How she both encourages me to be all I can be and to feel good about myself at the same time? There's…there's no one on earth like this girl.

"I…I love you too, Tsukasa-chan," Kentaro repeated, hugging her tightly.

"Awwww…wasn't that sweet, Akira, said, clinging on tightly to the microphone stand. "I wanna sing it too, Minorun!"

Akira began the first few lines, but was furious when the dramatic notes of "The Soviet National Anthem" came out of the speakers. "What the…! What the hell are you doing?"

"Hey, we are drinking vodka right now, plus it's October!" Minoru slurred into his mike.

"_Soyuz nerushimy respublik svbodnykh_

_Splotila naveki velikaya Rus'!_

_Da zdravstvuyet sozdanny volley narodov_

_Yediny, moguchy Sovyetsky Soyuz!_"

"You idiot!" Akira yelled, whacking him with the mike. "Put "Valentine Day Kiss" on right now!" The crowd groaned at the ugly burst of feedback. "Gaaaahhh!!" she howled. "Why the hell haven't I fired you yet?" But just then a hand seized her shirt collar.

"Akira!" exclaimed her father. "We told you you could invite a _few _people over for your party, not the entire city!"

"Do you realize that half the neighborhood has called the police to complain about the noise?" asked her mother.

"H-hey Dad, Mom," Akira stammered. "S-so you guys are back already, huh?"

"Yes we are, and perhaps this will be the last time we let you hold parties while we're away!"

"C'mon, Dad! You know, it was basically me that paid for this house and just about everything else!"

"Well that doesn't matter, young lady! From now on, we are going to…"

"Attention! This is the Saitama Prefectural Police! We've received some complaints about the noise at this party!" The guests groaned loudly as the cops entered the scene.

Shortly after entering the scene, one Officer Yui Narumi found something. "Well, well, Grey Goose Vodka, right by the punchbowl. Could this be the source of all this commotion?" She waved the bottle in front of Akira's parents.

"Officer, we swear we have no idea how that got there," gasped Akira's dad.

"Oh really, sir? Because serving alcoholic beverages to minors is a major offense. What do you have to say about all this, honey?" she asked Akira.

"Oh…oh, these two are always drinking! I think tonight they were just so out of it that that they didn't even know what they were doing, putting vodka in the punch like that!"

"Akira…"

"Well, this all sounds quite interesting," Yui said. "Perhaps we should continue this conversation later, downtown."

"I'm telling you!" gasped Akira's dad "None of that is true! Akira, how can you do this to your own parents?"

"Well, what do you say?" Yui asked Akira.

"We'll talk after they contact their lawyers," Akira casually replied.

"Akira-chaaaaaaan!!" her parents pleaded as the police led them away.

"Bye-neeee!!" their daughter cheered as they were led off.

"Oh hey, Kona-chan," Konata's dad said, passing his daughter while leaving the party. "I was just out…umm, jogging. Would you like a ride home?"

"No thanks, Dad," Konata answered, with a somewhat dejected look on her face. "I…have a lot to think about tonight."

"Hey boss," asked one of the junior cops to Yui. "You wanna, heh, split the rest of that bottle?"

"Oh no, Kobayashi. This is going straight in the evidence room. Besides, it's almost all gone." She then checked her watch and smiled. "But seeing as how it's getting near the end of our shifts, what say we pick up a _full_ bottle of this stuff and go put on _Hot Fuzz_ or _Bad Boys_?"

"S-sure. Sounds like an evening," answered Kobayashi.

17 is the age of consent in Japan.


	4. Chapter 4

_Hold on to 16 as long as you can_

_Changes comin' 'round real soon_

_Make us women and men._

_._

-John Cougar Mellencamp, "Jack and Diane"

"So do you think you have time to… Oh. You and Yutaka are going over to Patty's place again?" Kagami asked. "Okay then." She hung up and sighed. Jeez, how many times do I have to apologize to that girl, she muttered to herself. It's not like it was _my_ fault she got wasted and pounced on me. That's no reason to just avoid me as much as possible for the past week. And is she really lesbo for me? That's just… No way. Maybe she'll get it all through her head eventually, and things can go back to normal for us.

"Hey sis, how do I look?" announced Tsukasa's light voice. Kagami turned around and gasped. The outfit her sister had bought just yesterday was an excellent choice; glamorous yet not revealing. That was certainly a good thing, seeing as how it was only her first unchaparoned date with Kentaro. She still didn't entirely know just what to make of him, since she had only seen the guy twice before. Even Tsukasa had only seen him that many times, because they both went to different schools (although they called and texted each other every night). However, Kagami did like the confidence he seemed to be bringing out in her twin sister; for instance, how Tsukasa had picked out her new outfit the day before right away and stated straight out that it was the one.

"I think you'll make Moribashi-san very happy," Kagami replied in all honesty. "Are you wearing eyeliner?"

"Yes!" Tsukasa chirped. "You noticed?"

"Well…I've never seen you wear it before. I don't think any of us has worn it actually…except Ayano."

"Hmm, thanks for noticing. I got it at the department store yesterday. Would you like to borrow it sometime?"

Kagami was put off briefly by that question. Usually Tsukasa was the one asking to borrow her things. Still, she also remembered how…fulfilled her sister seemed with Kentaro. Could she be feeling…envious of her clumsy, timid twin?

"Thanks. I'll…think about it." Just then the doorbell rang.

"Good evening," said Kentaro, flashing a wide, almost monkey-like grin.

"Uh, hi," answered Tsukasa, bowing. "Would you like to come in for a bit?"

"Hmm, I would, but the movie starts in just 30 minutes."

"Oh, we'd better hurry!"

"Bye, Tsukasa-chan!" announced Mrs. Hiiragi. "Have a nice time!"

Yeah, and be careful, Kagami thought. Although he is kinda cute. And…frankly, that's a nice ass. Certainly tighter than Konata's. … Whoa, where did _that_ come from?

Kentaro had been wanting to see the latest gory horror flick, but after Tsukasa told him she didn't like horror movies, they both decided on a romantic comedy. He hadn't exactly made big plans to see that particular movie, but it wasn't half-bad. A bit sappy in parts, but it had some decent one-liners, and the female lead was hot. As Kentaro sucked on his teeth during a rather hot and heavy scene, he felt a warm pressure on his right hand. Not wanting to miss anything fun, he kept his left eye on the movie screen and turned the other to his right.

Tsukasa was squeezing his hand tightly while intently gazing at the screen.

Kentaro recalled her meek, ditzy disposition during their first date three weeks ago, when he came over to Tsukasa's house for dinner, and how shortly after they met she sadly said that her sister was prettier than her. But then, after he told her that she was indeed pretty, the girl defied the Japanese taboo against PDA's and kissed him right in public. Heck, the first time he spoke to her she had slapped him, although that was inadvertent. But still it seemed that she seemed to draw strength from him; that her confidence had been greatly boosted.

And now she was going and holding his hand first. Was the girl actually taking the dominant role in their relationship?

Well, no reason I can't follow her lead, Kentaro thought, moving his hand from under Tsukasa's and placing his arm around her neck. He couldn't help but smile as the screen light flickered off her angelic face. Just then a voice in his head asked, Was I really going to try to rape that?

"That was excellent!" Tsukasa exclaimed as they left the theater.

"Yeah," Kentaro replied, laughing. "Especially that part with the office lady…and the penguin…"

"Oh, don't remind me!" Tsukasa burst out laughing. "Now I'll have the giggles all night!"

"That doesn't bother me," he answered. "I meant it when I said you have a lovely voice. Go ahead and do your best Tsuruya impression, for all I care."

The purple-haired girl wiped tears of mirth from her eyes. "Thanks. But just the same, maybe I should have some co-offee before we head home."

"Okay," Kentaro said. "Some coffee does sound kinda nice now—"

"Hey Moribashi! Were you planning on introducing us?" asked an all-too-familiar voice.

Tsukasa froze like a rabbit as two boys emerged from the shadows. The one who had just spoken wore a pair of square glasses and had a crop of light brown hair and a square jaw. The other was tall and thin with an equally tall, frizzy perm hairdo. Both stared into them with gazes of frozen stone.

"You promised a little fun with the little lady," responded the frizzy-haired one. "It's been almost a month now. So…are you going to follow through?"

Ohhhh shit, thought Kentaro. Talk about perfect timing. Tsukasa had already partially slunk behind him, moaning in fear. "L-look guys," he blurted. "I'm sorry about all this, but…"

"Shut up! We've been planning this operation forever and a day, and Mr. Happy's getting impatient!" He gestured to Tsukasa. "Now, m'dear, are you gonna come quietly, or are we gonna have to…"

"You keep your paws off her, Satoshi."

"What did you say, Moribashi? Would you mind stepping over here?" the boy with glasses asked. Mainly as a result of hanging out with Konata, Tsukasa could practically see her viewpoint of the three rotate around them with leaves blowing in the wind, like in a million and one ninja movies.

Kentaro advanced toward them scowling. "I said, leave her alone. We're on a date that was going perfectly fine until you showed up. Now please step aside."

"Hey, I thought we were friends," Satoshi answered. "I thought we were all in this together."

What's this about, thought Tsukasa. Something about a deal between these guys…and me? Is there something Kentaro-kun hasn't been telling me?

"Well you know what? Tsukasa here has…made me think about myself, and that _maybe_ there's a bit more to love than sex. If you guys can't figure that out, you'll never so much as even get kissed. And I'm not sure if I want to hang out with some guys who can't shake that attitude."

Satoshi and the perm-haired guy smirked. "Y'know," the perm-haired one said, "you were always the softie. From back in middle school when you wanted to sit with us cool kids at lunch even though we used to beat up you rich sissies every day."

"What!? Umm, you know that most people at our school are more on the wealthy side, given its tuitions. And my dad is a self-made man, unlike some people, Mr. Old Money!" Kentaro shot back.

"Whatever. Well, enough chit-chat; let's get down to business." Tsukasa groaned again as the two began advancing on her.

"I said, _stay away from her!_" Kentaro exclaimed, trying to push them both away. But after one shove, Satoshi punched him hard in the stomach. Tsukasa could see little more as the permed one pinned her against a wall, again pressing his meaty hand against her mouth to muffle her screams.

"Don't worry, babe, this won't take too long. 'Course I dunno about Satoshi, from what he's told me about his private moments, but forget about him for now." He started fumbling for her skirt buckle.

Meanwhile, at the other end of the city block, Ayano Minegishi and Misao Kusakabe were waiting for a bus. "Say, what's that book you're reading?" Misao asked.

"Oh, this?" Ayano replied. "My cousin's in college, and this is a textbook from her psychology class. The part I'm reading is about this American woman named Kitty Genovese. Back in the '60s in New York, she was raped and murdered right outside her apartment, and even though a whole bunch of people heard her screams, no one even called the police. Everyone just kinda pretended to ignore it. This book calls it a prime example of the 'bystander effect'."

"Jeez, and you wonder why there are so many unsolved murders in America," Misao said.

"Well, Japan does have a much higher population density," said Ayano, gesturing to all the people walking down the street.

Tsukasa didn't entirely know what she was doing when she shouted out, "Tsu-Tsu-Tsukasa Beeeeeam!!" and again launched her foot out toward his crotch, clad in a hard dress shoe. But this time it made contact, as both his hands were busy.

"OOOOOAAAUUUUGGGGHHHHH!!" bellowed the permed guy, instantly releasing his grip on her. But Tsukasa wasn't finished. She kicked again, even fiercer than before. With that, a sudden croaking sound issued from his throat, and his eyes rolled back. He slumped to the ground in a fetal position, teeth clenched, and his hands clasping his crotch.

Next she turned toward her boy, currently being pummeled by Satoshi. Again wondering if this was just some insane dream, she kicked him in the ass with all her strength. Satoshi then collapsed on top of the prone Kentaro with a grunt. She suddenly thought how much the hentai-loving Konata might enjoy that image, then aimed her foot again right between his legs. He uttered an animalistic cry similar to that of the permed boy, and his limbs went limp. "C'mon, Kentaro-kun!" she exclaimed, extending her arm and helping Kentaro to his feet.

The two ran as fast as they could until they had reached the sanctuary of the train station, with its watching guards and security cameras. "I think we'll be all right now," Kentaro gasped, wiping blood from his nose. "But damn, I feel like I've been hit by a truck."

Tsukasa grimaced at his appearance. He had a black eye, a bloody nose, and several cuts and bruises around his face, and his clothes were ruffled up, stained with street dirt, and even blood in some places. "Do you think you should go to the hospital?"

"No, please," he replied. "I'm afraid if word of this gets out…your parents might not want me dating you anymore. It's not too bad; I'll just put some band-aids and hydrogen peroxide on all this. I'm pretty sure nothing's broken or anything."

"Kentaro-kun?"

"Yes?"

"Umm, what were those guys talking about when they said you had a deal with them…about me?"

Kentaro's head felt like a struck gong. Well now, his snarky conscience muttered, bet you weren't expecting _that_ question, eh?

But I really do love her. She's my first girlfriend, and she brings out the best in me. I'd still be a drooling pervert and probably wind up as a sex offender someday if not for her!

Well, it was your deceptions that got you into this, so you might as well get out the same way. That's why God invented little white lies.

"Kentaro-kun?" Tsukasa repeated, a puzzled look on her face.

"Uhh," Kentaro's mind went into overdrive. "Yeah, those are some people I sometimes hang out with at school…sometimes. Th-they were kinda interested in your sister after they heard you're twins," he began, winking after mentioning Kagami. "I told them I might think about it, but, well, knowing them, I wasn't entirely sure it was a good idea." He paused for a breath. "And then when they saw us leaving, well, no offense, but I guess they thought…you would do. Or maybe they were planning to take some twisted revenge. B-but please, Tsukasa-chan!" He blinked and noticed the hot sting of tears. When was the last time he'd come close to crying? "You've made me a better man, now that I've seen the light about people I thought were my friends! You're my first love, and I'd never let anything bad happen to you! I'd never let you feel uncomfortable! I would do anything to make you happy! I promise you!"

Tsukasa beamed like a fool in love and kissed him tenderly. "I know," she answered.

Sorry 'bout the delay folks, but…considering where I'm planning on going with this story (it's gonna get a bit disturbing), I've been having some difficulties in writing. (Heh, I've been using a little "Vitamin A" as my muse; meaning…liquid courage! Huzzah!) More to come; don't worry!

Also, a few people have wondered if Kentaro is a "Gary Stu". Uhh, no. He and his henchmen are, however, somewhat based on three characters from another series, although they're more caricatures here and they're obviously a bit more sinister in this version. I'll give you some hints as to where they came from: Kentaro is based on the male lead, and I've written a few stories based on this series.


	5. Chapter 5

A sophisticated man needs a little something on the side

Rated T to be on the safe side.

_A sophisticated man needs a little something on the side_

_So what you don't get at home, you gotta get outside._

-"Modern Man Blues", 10cc

Tsukasa's heart slammed against her chest, and her entire body quivered as she watched the crazed man pursuing his son through a snow-covered hedge maze. This movie truly had to be one the scariest she had ever seen, if not the scariest. There wasn't a lot of blood and gore (well, at least not in every scene), but instead it largely relied on unorthodox camera angles and motions and long-distance shots. That gave the spooky scenes in the hallway and the haunted room an even more dreamlike, creepy quality. Plus the somber, dirge-like synthesizer music during the opening credits had sent shivers down her spine even from the movie's beginning.

And yet… Unlike watching horror movies with her friends, with Kentaro she hadn't even had to close her eyes during any scenes. She would probably have nightmares that night as a result, but for the moment she felt safe. From both imaginary and real monsters. The boy on the screen noticed his footprints through the snow with horror, and started jumping backwards through them so his insane father wouldn't follow. As the boy cowered in the hedge as his father stormed right past him, Tsukasa snaked her left arm through Kentaro's and squeezed. Kentaro felt her hand.

The movie ended. "So what did you think?" Kentaro asked. "You were able to watch the whole thing, I see."

"I know," she replied. "'Cause you're here to protect me."

"Hey just remember; like Dick Hallorann said in the movie, they're just like pictures in a book. They can't hurt you."

"Well, those were on your TV screen. And what about Sadako in _The Ring_?" she asked with a giggle, squeezing his hand.

Kentaro beamed. Tsukasa may not have been the greatest student, but she could be quite clever just given some encouragement. And that priceless smile of hers was always worth it. Just then he remembered. They were at his home alone, and his parents probably wouldn't return for another few hours. Would she possibly be interested in…taking the next step? It wouldn't just be a selfish gesture for him; he truly loved this girl. As he told her on the train station platform, she seemed to bring out the best in him, to remind him of the simple pleasures of strolling through a park hand in hand, a pleasant chat, and watching the people and traffic pass by over a cup of coffee.

Even so, he couldn't deny his physical attraction to her. Given the circumstances of their meeting, he'd wondered if she might ever be able to take that step, but then again, what about her often taking the lead in kissing and hand-holding? Maybe, just maybe, it could happen tonight…

"Kentaro?" Tsukasa asked. "Are you okay? You've been just staring at me for almost a minute now."

Kentaro decided to take the lead for once, and pulled Tsukasa to him gently, locking their lips. Tsukasa was somewhat surprised at first, but then willingly followed along. She didn't even notice she had drifted downward on the couch onto her back, with Kentaro atop her.

Tsukasa was once again relishing the feeling of comfort and security of being in his arms, when she noticed he was sucking on her mouth faster, and his grip had tightened. She squeezed him back, but let out a squeak as he suddenly disengaged from her lips and started sucking on her neck. It wasn't an unpleasant situation, but the lack of a forewarning shook her up a bit. Kentaro wouldn't…, she thought. However, she did notice his breathing had grown more ragged as his hands ran down her sides. She couldn't quite believe it when his right hand started tugging the bottom of her shirt upward, while the left felt under the top of her back for…

With the first sharp tug at her bra, she squealed and jumped up and away from Kentaro, wedging herself in the couch corner.

"K-Kentaro-kun…why?" she blurted, tears dripping from her eyes.

Kentaro saw the deer-in-the-headlights expression on her face and tears running past her blushing cheeks, and instantly recalled the first time she had seen him. The poor girl had been crying her eyes out after nearly being raped by his former friends. Who could blame her for this reaction? All of a sudden he wished he could just slink into a crack in the floor.

"Tsukasa-chan, I'm so sorry," was all he could say at the moment. "I just…I really do love and respect you, and I wouldn't do anything to hurt you. I was going to be gentle."

"I believe you," she sobbed. "I just…can't. It just reminds me too much about what happened to me…two weeks ago…"

"Don't worry," Kentaro told her, getting into an upright position. "I won't do anything you don't want to. We can just cuddle and I'll break out some ice cream; how does that sound?"

Tsukasa's tears had abated, and a weak smile returned to her face. "That sounds nice."

"Okay," Kentaro answered. "But first, I…have to go to the bathroom. Bad."

"So Konata, there's a big history test Monday," Kagami said into the telephone. "Figured tonight we could get together and do some studying and then a round of games. I just got the latest _Grand Theft Auto_. Or how 'bout _Rat Fink 2:Rodent Revenge_?...Wh-what do you mean you're going over to Patty's place again? Don't you care about getting good grades?...Don't use that tone of voice with me! It's been a month and a half since that stupid party!"

"Well, what about that guy you've been seeing," Konata asked in a strange flat tone. "Isn't he in your class?"

Kagami suppressed a sigh. What gave her the right to drag Kosuke into this? "Yeah, but, umm, frankly…his grades aren't that great."

"Well then, aren't you a bit afraid that he'll just copy your notes or borrow your books and forget to give them back?"

Kagami rubbed her forehead in exasperation. "Oh, come on now! For the last freaking time, I'm _sorry_ about…what happened!

"I know," Konata answered. "But like I've been telling you, you've just given me a lot to think about." She then promptly hung up.

Kagami then sank into the couch like a deflating balloon. "Welp, at least I'll be able to get some studying in tonight." She pulled out her textbook. "Let's see…after Harold Godwinson was named Edward the Confessor's successor in 1066, William of Normandy…oh, who am I kidding? I wanna raise some hell in Vice City." She tossed her book aside and turned on the video game.

"Hey, we're back," Tsukasa announced, walking in with Kentaro.

"All right! The latest _GTA_! You wanna play for a bit, Tsukasa?" asked Kentaro.

Tsukasa yawned. "No thanks. I'm not that good at video games. Besides, I get sleepy early." She hugged him and pecked him on the cheek. "Goodnight!"

Maybe now I can have a chance to figure out who this guy is, Kagami thought as Tsukasa headed upstairs. "Hey, you like to play for a bit?" she asked, handing him a controller.

"Okay, sounds nice," Kentaro replied, sitting down next to her.

As the two sat there wasting prostitutes and drug dealers, Kagami decided to start asking questions. "So, Moribashi…what do you like about my sister?"

"I thought I said that when I came over here for dinner, but since you asked, well…I guess you could say she just makes me feel good about myself while…encouraging me to be a better man at the same time."

Kagami batted an eyebrow. "In what way?" she asked, using the tone of voice Konata had been using on her earlier.

Kentaro looked at her and shivered a bit. She may have been Tsukasa's twin, but her facial expression seemed somehow…intimidating. Like she was trying to get something out of him. I'm gonna have to watch out for her, he thought. Tsukasa always talks about how she's more forceful and argumentative, where she's mild and meek, like two halves of a whole.

Not that forceful and intimidating were bad attributes, especially during those private moments with his hentai collection… The thrill was in the hunt, and the feistier the better. And this girl looked like a feisty tsundere; twin ponytails and all. Whoa, where did _that_ come from? Was he being tempted by another woman?

"Well, are you going to answer me?" she asked.

Kentaro could feel himself blushing. The prosecutor was finally grilling him. But she hadn't asked him to tell the _whole_ truth. "Umm, I guess you could say she…brings out the…maturity in me, the reserve," he stammered. "Yeah. We don't have to do super-exciting things together like go to nightclubs or ritzy restaurants, we're happy just walking in the park, having some tea together, just _being_ together. Just the simple things."

I have a feeling you're not telling me everything, Kagami thought. And yet, she somehow felt disarmed by him. With his wide eyes, goofy expression, and scruffy hair, he reminded her of the male lead in that old anime series about the green-haired girl in the tiger-skin bikini. Not exactly a super stud, but not bad either. I can see why Tsukasa considers him a keeper. I wonder if I could possibly…borrow him for a bit. Whoa, where did _that_ come from?

"Plus, Tsukasa says she feels…safe and protected with me. It's always nice to feel you're needed."

Both didn't realize they were then staring directly into each other's eyes.

Why am I feeling turned on looking at her? Kentaro thought. She is Tsukasa's twin, but she's a tsundere, and…her body's probably just like Tsukasa's…

C'mon girl, get a hold of yourself, Kagami told herself. Think of Tsukasa, think of Kosuke, think of Konata… Why did I just think that? Heh, if this guy really is like the guy from that one old anime, he probably has as many hentai anime and manga or eroge as Konata does. And then he probably knows a lot about…

The two pounced on each other, kissing fiercely and tugging at clothing.

"Wh-what about your parents and sister?" Kentaro asked.

"We'll just bite our lips when we come," Kagami said in a breathy gasp. "That's what I always do."

"Same here," Kentaro answered with a slight cackling giggle which he only barely covered.

Wow, that's what I meant when I said this would get disturbing (as if it hasn't already been enough so). Anyway, I'm glad that I've received some favorites and addition alert notices from readers, but if you don't mind, I would like to see perhaps some more reviews. Even bad ones. Arigato!


	6. Chapter 6

It's a thin line between love and hate

_It's a thin line between love and hate._

-The Pretenders

_Sister, sister, sister wars_

_We are happy sisters, yo._

-Kaori Fukuhara, "Sister Wars"

Something snapped in Kagami's head. So loudly she could hear it. "What am I doing?" she gasped, shooting bolt upright, still in her underwear. "How can this…Oh God, what am I doing?"

"B-but you were so…enthusiastic a few minutes ago," replied Kentaro, sitting up.

"I know, but…I don't know. It's just that…one of my best friends recently kinda dumped me, and I just feel so…lonely at times. Most people—especially guys—are a bit intimidated by me because of my temper and because I sometimes seem…aloof and grouchy at times. So, well, I've never really had a boyfriend, and…I just get so lonely. And…" She searched her mind to embellish the truth and cover up the baser impulses for her actions. "And you make Tsukasa so happy. But I…I love my sister. How could I d-do this to her?" She began crying softly.

Kentaro's conscience came roaring back to him, not in snarky words, but in images of the first girl who hadn't smacked him (well, except for that one time), seemed damn crazy about him, and had also convinced him to listen to his heart rather than his nether regions. He remembered how Tsukasa's face had lit up when she started singing at the party, how her grip tightened and her smile became less wavery and more confident when they held hands, how both her parents had hugged him when he first met them for saving their daughter, and how her father wished them the best luck as a couple.

Ah, but remember the _real_ reason behind that assault, replied the snarky side of his conscience. And tonight, you tried to do to her what Satoshi and Akira tried to do in the alley, only you _would_ take "no" for an answer. Aaaaand then, you decided you'd settle for her sister.

Well hey, it's not like I'm on my deathbed! There's still plenty of time to fix things up! "I…wasn't thinking either," Kentaro said, tears also flooding his eyes. "Ever since I hit puberty I've been a loose cannon with girls. And now here I am cheating on the one girl who actually wants to be with me. I should've known this would happen! Oh God, I don't deserve her. The only woman I deserve is a…blow-up doll. But she helped convince there was more to love than just sex. I just want Tsukasa to be happy. I would do _anything_ to make it so. Her smile does more for me than a box of hentai manga."

"I believe you," Kagami said, wiping her eyes. "She just wants to feel secure and protected, and you do just that. She's become so much more self-confident since you started dating her, her grades have improved, she's even talked about getting her ears pierced. It doesn't matter how you were in the past; this is now, and if you think Tsukasa brings out the best in you, then dammit, be there for her! Really, you're not such a bad guy, and, heh, I don't know where you'd be without Tsukasa."

"And…you're not as aloof as you make yourself out to be, if you care about Tsukasa that much," Kentaro replied.

Kagami blushed and beamed. "Thank you," she said. "I can see why Tsukasa likes you; when it comes down to it, you bring out the best in people."

"And thank you for saying I'm an okay guy, even after I told you more about myself."

The two hugged.

"D-do you think we should…tell her what happened?" Kentaro asked.

"Umm…no. After all, we didn't go all the way, and she's asleep. This will just be one of those secret shameful moments everyone has in their closet, and…"

"O-onee-chan? Kentaro-kun?"

Tsukasa had gotten up to use the bathroom, but the upstairs toilet was broken. She had entered the living room just in time to see her sister and Kentaro hug while still in just their underwear. Also to hear the slightly compromising question and answer that followed.

"Tsukasa-chan," blurted Kagami as her stomach plunged 60 stories. But Tsukasa could only stand there, her mouth hanging open and lower jaw quivering. Kagami saw the color rush out of her cheeks at once. A single tear ran down her face and off her chin. Both on the couch could hear it plop on the floor.

"Ts-tsukasa-chan, please," uttered Kentaro, grabbing his pants and starting to get up. But before he could, Tsukasa closed her mouth and, without a word or even a change in facial expression, turned around and slowly headed upstairs.

"Nee-chan, we can explain this!" Kagami called out to her, putting her shirt on and following her sister upstairs. But Tsukasa's footsteps only quickened. "Nee-chan, please!" Kagami called again when she reached the top of the stairs. But all that answered her was the snap of Tsukasa's door locking. All Kagami could do was sink to her knees and weep. The truth was, no accurate explanation would ever correct this.

Tsukasa buried her face in her pillow and burst into tears. "Did he…ever really love me?" she blurted to herself between sobs. "Or was it just because I didn't want to…couldn't…can't…" And Kagami… All those times her dear twin had helped her with her homework, comforted her in difficult times, shared her candy; how had they all led up to this?

"That's a very good question, my dear," said a jovial-sounding bass voice behind her in an Osaka accent.

Suddenly surprised, Tsukasa wiped her eyes and slowly turned around, then quickly scooted against the baseboard of her bed. Floating above the foot of the bed was a strange orange-yellow catlike creature. "Catlike" was probably the best way to describe it, yet at the same time it was also somewhat pear-shaped, with thin tentacles for arms, stubby peg-like legs, large beady eyes, and a smiling, hairlipped mouth similar to Konata's.

"Wh-who are you?" were the only words that could come to her lips.

"Oh, just a friend who comes to assist those against whom the world has turned its back, whose so-called friends and allies have stabbed them in the back; those who have found out the hard way what a 'wonderful' world this is. For a…small fee, I allow these poor souls to right their wrongs against their 'friends', 'family'…or even society. I've been around for a long, long, year; from Judas taking his silver to the 2000 American presidential election. Pleased to meet you; have you guessed my name?"

"No…" answered Tsukasa, not entirely sure if this was real or just a very vivid dream.

"Well, call me Ishmael. Actually, my name is…John Christoe. And I'd like to start things off by asking you a few questions. Do you think this Kentaro person really loved you?"

Tears returned to Tsukasa's eyes. "I…I think so… He's always glad to see me, he says I bring out the best in him, he always tries to protect me and keep me comfortable…"

"Keep you comfortable?" scoffed John Christoe. "You remember what he tried to do to you earlier this evening. You're just a toy to him, a piece of meat. He may not have tried to force himself upon you like his friends, but when you wouldn't meet his needs, he moved on to your sister, who was quite willing to oblige."

"But he always tried to protect me…"

"Protection? Do you think that's a proper basis for an adult relationship? Sitting there like a damsel in distress in her castle tower, waiting for Prince Charming to ride up on his white steed? That's not true love; that's puppy love at best; childish adulation at worst. And if you weren't such a child, perhaps you'd have figured out by now what Kentaro really thought of you. You remember what his good friends were saying to him about 'a deal' that night after the movie, don't you?"

"_You promised a little fun with the little lady. So…are you going to follow through?"_

"_Shut up! We've been planning this operation forever and a day…"_

"_I thought we were all in this together!"_

"B-but he said they were talking about…Kagami…"

"And don't you think it's a little strange that Kentaro appeared right after they first assaulted you under the overpass?"

Tsukasa's breath hitched. Tears ran freely down her face. It had all been a lie. Her first romance had been nothing less than a sexual Yakuza deal. And why not? She was plain, babyfaced, small-breasted, slow-witted, and wore a bow in her hair like a grade-school student. Only drooling pedobears would ever be attracted to her, and that was why Kentaro was with her. And when she wouldn't open her legs (or mouth) for him, he turned toward her sister. Her sister, who…always yelled at her, always admonished her for being slow, talked to her the way a 17-year-old would talk to a 7-year-old, seemed to command the most attention…

She didn't even notice that her tears had stopped, she had gritted her teeth, her cheeks had turned bright crimson, and she had balled her fists.

"Yes," John Christoe said, pulling out a large machete and presenting it to her. "Give in to hate. Strike your 'boyfriend' and your sister down. It's what you humans do best. Such pathetic, foolish creatures." His face suddenly morphed (Tsukasa could only compare the motion to claymation) into a leering skull face with glowing red eyes. Suddenly she noticed there had been a strange smell in the air since John Christoe had appeared. It reminded her of a natural hot spring, almost like rotten eggs.

"This is…unforgivable," she said softly.

"Of course. But there is one thing you must do afterwards. You will have blood on your hands. Your well-respected family, keepers of a prominent shrine, will forever have to carry the burden of murder on its name. Unless…"

Tsukasa backed away slightly. "You aren't saying…?"

John Christoe's bony, lipless mouth grinned. "It's not so bad, dearie. Just like going to sleep."

"But I don't…and Kagami…I could find someone…"

"Ah, but you've already made the deal," John Christoe snarled. "And I intend to get my due any way. Now come here. I'm _starving_. I'm gonna eat your guts." He started to float toward Tsukasa.

"No, I just…What are you…" But before she could speak another word, the creature squeezed its way into Tsukasa's mouth.

Kentaro knelt next to Kagami, sobbing with her face resting on her knees. The only things he could think to say sounded cheap and contrived, but it still pained him to see Tsukasa's sister, usually strong and forthright, so upset. If not for Tsukasa, would I have felt that way, he thought. But anyway… "Look," Kentaro began. "We're both in this together. We both did something…horrible to Tsukasa, and it's no one's fault but ours. But we still love her, and all we can do is tell her the truth, how we were both being idiots, and how we still have as much love for her as ever."

"Easy for you to say," Kagami replied. "No offense, but you've only known her just over a month. I'm her twin sister. We were born together, experienced all the joys and tears of life together, shared our existence. And since I'm the tough girl, the tsundere—partly because our big sisters designated me—and she's always had kinda low self-esteem, she's always looked up to me. I'm her role model. She practically worships me. And now… How can this ever be repaired?"

Kentaro stood up and glared at her, a fierce determination in his eyes. "Well, it won't be easy, of course. But I guess we could start by telling her about our…weaknesses and vulnerabilities."

"Hmm?"

"Well…that stuff you said back on the couch about how people are intimidated by you, and you sometimes feel lonely." He took a deep breath. "I guess another thing that drew me to Tsukasa was that she reminds me a little of myself. I've always been kind of a wimp and geek, and bullies have been picking on me since elementary school, calling me a spaz or fag or whatnot. That might've been the reason I became such a pervert; just beating my chest and trying to prove my manhood. All my life I've been a follower looking to others for direction, and for too damn long I've made the wrong choices there. I just needed someone who looked up to me and brought out the best in myself."

Kagami raised her head from her legs.

"You can make things right again. If you can help remind me that I'm worthy of her love, then you can do the same. If anything, this experience will help remind her that no one's perfect, not even the people she most looks up to."

Kagami sighed and smiled weakly. "Yeah. That's all we can say, but it's better than nothing."

There was a snap as Tsukasa's door was unlocked.

"Well," Kagami said, taking a deep breath. "Let's do this then."

"Tsukasa? Nee-chan?" said Kagami as she entered the darkened room. Her sister stood in the center, her back turned toward the door. Kagami took a deep breath. "Umm…Kentaro and I have nothing to offer but our sincerest apologies. All we can say about what happened was that it was because of our weakness and inabilities, not yours."

"I'd also like to add that we didn't actually go all the way," Kentaro nervously chimed in.

Kagami, not wanting to throw things off, shot him a dirty look. "B-but anyway, Tsukasa, we can assure you that it will never happen again. I know you've always been a little jealous of me. But now you can say that you're better than me in one way; you would never do such a thing to me or any of our friends." Her voice choked slightly, and a tear ran down her face. "And because of that, you're a much better person than I could ever hope to be."

"I too can only offer you my sincerest apologies," Kentaro began. "And I feel I'm not worthy of your love anymore. Only you can make that choice, but you have my word that I will never do such a thing again, ever. You're such a better person than me; that's why you've brought out the best in me."

"I know," Tsukasa answered in a bass Osaka accent, seizing the machete handle.

"Man alive, how could I do this?" gasped Hiyori Tamura, staring at the last panel of her new dojinshi. "It's so…violent and cruel! I've drawn compromising stuff before, but this… Well, I suppose that's what to expect after a day full of watching soap operas and reading Stephen King when I stayed home sick."

But sometimes her imagination just ran away with her, and sometimes her mind just ran to places where she would've rather it not go. Looking away from the last panel, she picked up the pages and stashed them in one of her files. As sort of a mental pallet cleanser, she decided to resume her Konata x Haruhi story. That would be a bit more lighthearted in her normal style.

At the same time, she quietly wished good luck to Tsukasa and Kentaro's actual relationship. She seemed so wonderfully energized by him, more confident and assertive. She indeed seemed to be drawing strength from him, and for that Hiyori had all the respect in the world for him.

Even if he did seem to be making leery eyes at the other girls the few times she had seen him.


	7. Lucky Epilogue

(puts on flame-resistant suit)

(puts on flame-resistant suit)

I'VE GOT BLISTERS ON MY FINGERS!!

Hee hee, well, glad that's over. Did everyone have fun? Well, look out below, because here's where I spill my guts.

Like I said in the prologue, this story was (loosely) based on a YouTube video called "The Future of the Girls of Lucky Star" by UKFFFan. I'd highly recommend it to anyone with a sick sense of humor like myself. He's also produced similarly dire predictions for the SOS Brigade and the girls of Azumanga Daioh (one of which ties in with one of his Lucky Star theories). Of course, I had to lengthen it somewhat and, being myself, add my own original recipe of herbs and spices, such as a somewhat darker tone, plenty of sudden WTF moments, and a lot of Stephen King references. He says he doesn't want people to take his videos too seriously, but I thought there might be a full story in Tsukasa's theory. And I guess the ending scene with Hiyori is a reference to that guy's caveat.

There were a few more King references than just the horror. The scene with Tsukasa's assault under the railroad overpass is a slight reference to a scene in King's "Sometimes They Come Back", from the collection _Night Shift_.

I think we all know who "John Christoe's" initial appearance is based on, but the scene with his face shapeshifting into a skull was inspired by a really creepy claymation scene in the little-noticed 1985 movie _The Adventures of Mark Twain_ in which Satan himself teaches some kids about the follies of humanity. This scene has gained a second life on YouTube under the title "Creepy Banned Satanic Cartoon" or variations thereon, with false rumors that it was produced by a Satanic group or banned on American TV. I kinda borrowed some elements of that scene for the scene with "John Christoe" talking to Tsukasa. I also got some elements from another King story, "The Man in the Black Suit" from the _Everything's Eventual_ collection.

And of course, Kentaro Moribashi was slightly based on Ataru Moroboshi from the classic series Urusei Yatsura, which I would highly recommend to any younger fans. And his friends Satoshi and Akira were loosely based on two of "Lum's Stormtroopers", a gang of hyperactive, pseudo-intellectuals miscreants who zealously guard the series' female lead. Satoshi and Akira are the real names of two members known more widely by their nicknames which are, respectively, Megane and Chibi. Akira's appearance was actually based on another member, nicknamed Perm, but I had already used his actual name (Kosuke) elsewhere.

I'd like to thank everyone who read this, even if they didn't like it. At times I didn't like this story much myself; even I thought it was growing a bit too kinky and perverted for myself, and I often wondered how I could do such things to characters I love. The question really ate me up inside, and there were times I considered leaving it unfinished. I guess it's one thing to just watch it on a 5-minute YouTube video and be done with it (and file it away in your subconscious), but quite another to go through five chapters of it. Whether or not you think I should've heeded those inner voices is up to you, dear reader, but just because I've chickened out on a lot of stories (or just had second thought about the concept), I'm glad I managed to see this one through to the end.

I don't know if I'll do much fanfiction writing in the future, just because of how time-consuming it is and such. I kinda think my forte is more in essays anyway, but I might just try my hand at it now and then, since at least I can string two sentences together, heh heh. So again, thanks for reading, reviewing, and putting up with me. Ja ne!


	8. Unlucky Epilogue

Well we all shine on

_Well we all shine on_

_Like the moon and the stars and the sun._

-John Lennon and the Plastic Ono Band, "Instant Karma"

A full moon rose in the east as the last orange hues of twilight hung in the western sky. A chill autumn breeze blew the leaves and litter through the gutters with an eerie skittering sound. No one was in the area as the car pulled up to the curb; no one saw the two twentysomethings get out and, tittering and giggling, head up the front walk.

"Wow, it _is_ a lovely house, Shutaro-kun!" gasped the young woman with a bowl-shaped hairstyle. "Did it really cost so little?"

"Like I said," answered the tall, slicked-haired man, "the previous owners said they desperately wanted to leave it, though they wouldn't say why. I don't know what they were thinking, though. It's spacious, adjacent to an old shrine, and a quick commute to the office."

"Yes, it's a very, very, very fine house," answered the woman. However, she couldn't quite shake the feeling that she had seen it somewhere. Just déjà vu, I guess, she thought.

Inside, the two sat on the living room sofa and popped open a bottle of champagne.

"Mmm, _oishii_," breathed the woman. "But still…it doesn't seem…right doing it here. Your office is just so much more…private."

"Please, Shinobu-chan," answered Shutaro. "Like I said, this is just so much more comfortable. And Asuka won't be home for two days."

"Yeah, I suppose you're right," replied Shinobu.

Just then a strange croaking, gurgling noise echoed through the living room.

"Wh-what was _that_?" gasped Shinobu.

Shutaro's right cheek twitched. "J-just the plumbing, I think. I'm planning to call a plumber." I'll also have to call an electrician about that heating problem in the weight room, he thought. It's always cold up there, even at the height of summer…

The two lovers continued billing and cooing as they made their way up the stairs. Yet still Shinobu couldn't shake the feeling that she had heard about this house way out in Saitama Prefecture sometime before, even though Shutaro had never taken her to his house.

She also couldn't shake a sensation of dread; that not all was well there. Even despite a few glasses of champagne and a glass of red wine over dinner earlier, Shinobu had felt a sense of tension almost as soon as they stepped in the door of this house. Though perhaps that was just some lingering guilt about her continuing affair with her boss. It wasn't entirely Inaba's fault that he worked such awful hours. Maybe this should be the last time, she told herself.

The cold hit Shinobu as soon as they reached the top of the stairs. She couldn't see any windows in the hall, but it felt at least as cold as it did outside. And even then, she didn't think that having every window on the top floor would make the hall this cold. Was there a hole in the roof or something?

"Brrr! Is it always this cold up here?" she asked Shutaro.

"You know, it sometimes is," he answered. "I'm not sure whether it's the insulation or heating, or…"

"Hello Shutaro-san. Hello Shinobu-san," said two girls' voices from down the hall.

Standing further down the hall stood the figures of two girls staring directly at them. Both were dressed in miko outfits. They were the same height, and both had purple hair and large blue eyes. But the one on the left wore her in a short pixie cut with a yellow bow. The one on the right wore long ponytails. The facial expressions of both were at once emotionless and stern.

Both Shutaro and Shinobu were frozen. Neither realized their jaws had dropped fully open.

"Come play with us," the girls said in monotone unison.

Images flashed before Shinobu's eyes. First was a scene of a normal teenage girl's bedroom. Except there were spatters and splotches of crimson on the walls, yellow bedsheets and numerous plushies. In the center of the room lay two figures, a boy and a girl, in a large red pool. She couldn't recognize the boy, but the girl had twin ponytails. Meanwhile on the bed lay the short-haired girl, still clutching a bloodstained machete in her left hand. A long, bleeding slice ran along her wrist. The vision only lasted a few seconds, but Shinobu was certain she would never forget one iota of it, coupled with what she was witnessing now.

"Forever," the girls continued. Shinobu noticed they had moved about a meter closer.

More visions raced past her eyes. _Three Saitama Prefecture teens dead in murder-suicide; Small suburb rocked by domestic murder; Ryooh High School, Kasukabe Academy honor memory of dead students; Infamous house sold, shrine entrusted to temporary caretaker…_

"And ever…" They had moved closer still.

"Sh-shutaro-kun…" Shinobu croaked.

"Th-this can't be real," he gasped. "They're just like pictures in a book. M-maybe we had a bit too much to drink tonight."

"And _ever._" The two girls' eyes glowed red. They had suddenly advanced to right in front of them.

"J-just like…p-pictures in a book…" stammered Shutaro.

A flock of crows then burst, cawing harshly, from a nearby tree, at the sound of two piercing screams.


End file.
